i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
