New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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