I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
Randomize
