I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Randomize
