You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Randomize
