i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
I just gargled with NyQuil
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
