So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Randomize
