"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
