I accidentally burped into my bong.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
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