I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Randomize
