those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
I will be naked everywhere
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
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