I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
