they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
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