weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
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