So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize