My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Randomize
