I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Randomize
