He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Randomize
