No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
I need moral support for this bender
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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