Walk of Shame today included voting.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
