She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
