well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
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