Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Randomize
