I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Randomize
