just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Randomize
