Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
I think I sprained my soul last night
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
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