Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
