Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
