i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
should my penis look like a turkey
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Randomize