U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
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