the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
