i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
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