found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
