it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
