Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I'm sobbing to NWA
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Randomize