I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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