I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
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