We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize
