it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
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