At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
I think i peed on brittanys purse
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
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