Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
