Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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