Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
