I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
