i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Randomize
