My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
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