Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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