How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Randomize
