Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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