Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Randomize
