I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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