it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize
