I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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