Heybabeimwearingurpanties
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
so much tequila, so little girl.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
