A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
please come you make the beer taste better
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
