I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
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