This is not my ceiling
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
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