Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
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