its not stalking. its research.
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
