i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
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