never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Randomize
