wakey wakey hands off snakey
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Randomize
