Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Randomize
