Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
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