And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
