never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
