dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
