Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize