Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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