theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Holy sore nipples Batman
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Randomize
