For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
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