Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Randomize
