I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
