Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
