Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
