jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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