Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Randomize